I am in one of those geezer funks

I am in one of those retrospective moods of self disgust.  Sometimes the achievement of geezerhood works as an excuse for a lot of things: forgetting where your keys are, procrastinating almost everything, forgetting the names of your friends, missing doctor’s appointments, even vegetating in front of the television for a full night retrospective of something like Dark Angel or the full story of the Knights Templar.  I, however, screwed up completely.   I wrote, in July, of the joy that was brought to me on my seventy somethingth birthday by my children and my dear wife.  Her almost sev—fiftyninth birthday was earlier this week, and I forgot it completely.  

Second son came over in the morning and invited us out to breakfast.  As he paid the check he looked at his mother and said “Happy Birthday”.  A gradual sickness spiraled upward through me.  I have been on the edge of tears a couple of times because I didn’t remember, but the most irritating thing was that I didn’t remember.  My doggone mind just floats along touching the blog, reading a little, going to water aerobics (which really is the reason that what little mind and body I have left is still around at all) and just ignoring the rest of the world.  When I do come up with “good deeds” and try to do them, they frequently don’t relate to my immediate family.  My “labor day weekend” has been filled with good things, One of my good friends discovered an artery blockage and received a “stent” just in time to prevent heart damage.   His wife has suffered for some months with an undiagnosed problem, and they discovered that she has terrible gall bladder problems, so she is going in for surgery that almost surely will improve her life immeasurably ( these things may not sound cheery or good, but when you are a geezer the solving of health problems for your friends is very exciting)

My daughter came here to visit and went home with a lovely young basset hound named Roscoe, that she will enjoy enormously. (Though when she chose the dog, I think she had forgotten momentarily that hounds smell an awful lot like hounds).

It is still one A.M., and I am sitting by the computer, still guilty about not really taking care of someone I love, depressed because I am facing a law suit about an accident over two years ago, I haven’t sculpted a scrap in almost a year, and I feel like I am sliding down hill rapidly.

OUCH!!!! (I just kicked my self in the butt and told me to get off said butt and get busy, if only sleeping.  Good night.)