Getting away from the funeral (which will be on Saturday, and I am providing a roasted Boston Butt which is the same thing I provided for a family meal when my friend's wife passed away a few months ago) to some general coot stuff (My brother prefers geezer in this case.)

As a male grows up he has the gender advantage in the method of waste elimination from the body. A large percentage of his waste elimation can be done standing, sometimes in a bathroom, sometimes behind a tree, sometime alone in a snowy waste where he can draw pictures with his liquid elimination. Most girls would be amazed and discusted by the method and practices of most little boys in the elmination business. It is not the boys fault that he has been favored in his natural plumbing.

As boys grow up, they are taught by their mothers to lift the lid on the toilet before "going". This is done because boys are sometimes inaccurate when they "go", whether accidentally or on purpose, and girls resent having to suffer the indignities of their natural plumbing while sitting in a place that has been naturally baptized by the favored boy.

The problem with lifting the lid is that, for adequate service to others it must be lowered as well.
Probably the most common complaint heard by the male of the species who has to share the facilities with the female is that "You didn't put the lid down."

Like most males my instinctive reaction to this complaint (though usually unspoken, because a female of any age can make the male life miserable if such is desired)was always the inner thought "If I must lift the lid, why can't you be responsible for noticing that it is lifted and put it down yourself, why yell at me?"

One of the things young men don't consider in this thought is that when coothood or geezerhood comes along, it is often accompanies by certain physiological changes. These do not mean that the old practice of standing elimination becomes impossible, or uncomfortable, it just means that sometimes it becomes embarrassing. It is amazing how fluid that used to just whiz out to the receptical now, on occasion runs down the outside or inside surface of the leg and causes bystanders to snicker or point as one walks through the supermarket. It also means that as coothood or geezerhood progresses, the frequency of the elimination process increased exponentially.

This is the long way of saying that sometimes a geezer, if he is practical, chooses to sit, rather than stand in this formerly casual process.

I now have two of my adult sons working with me in my house to finish remodelling, building my studio, and things like that. These sons, like their father, sometimes forget to PUT THE LID DOWN, and I have discovered in the last few weeks why my wife, my sisters, and all the other females with whom I have shared accomodations in my life were so darn ticky about this put the lid down business. If any of my sons reads this, in fact if any of my male progeny read this may I use this moment to encourage them to PUT THE LID DOWN WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED. The feel of cold porcelain when one is distressed and in a hurry anyway is neither comfortable or fun. I used to go in a house where the matron of the household had a sign over the commode which said " DAMMIT, AIM OR SIT." I now understand her feelings.