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Three score and ten or more

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Momentary reflection from an old coot.

I got up this morning to get ready for church, showered and dressed- somewhat slowly. I can't help occasionally being frustrated that it takes me longer to get my shoes and socks on (and the medicine, and the examination of the toes, etce.) than it takes Janet to get completely dressed (of course with her arm still in a sling and with a flex cast on her broken wrist with a lot of pain in the arm, I have to help Janet get dressed too. I will have to confess that shampooing her hair in the shower, which she can't do yet is one of my chief pleasures each day). AS fast as we can go, little things come along to irritate. I grabbed a nice white shirt, slipped it on and became aware that it had French cuffs. There is nothing wrong with that, for years I wouldn't buy a dress shirt that didn't have French cuffs, but lately I just haven't worn them often. I had to shuffle things to find my jewelery box (moving does that) but when I opened it, I had the sudden shock that I get from a drawer full of single sock (I have explained in the past why I think they are bastard socks) In my box were twenty three single cufflinks. There was only one matched pair of cufflinks in the box. Where are the others??? Are all those singletons the result of theft. Did some of them get away, escape to a more exciting jewel box?? Is there something wrong with my eyesight or my perception that every cufflink had a mate and I just couldn't see them.

Rather than try to solve the mystery, I just took the single pair of ram's head cufflinks, put them in my French cuffs and took Janet off to church. Now it is evening. I have removed my shirt and the pair of cufflinks sits there before me on the computer desk. Do I dare go place them in the cufflink box, or will one them escape, forcing me, (gasp) to take my next foray into public with French cuffs and mismatched cufflinks. Even worse, as I return these to the box, will I open it and find twenty one pairs of matched cufflinks smiling wickedly at me as if to say "Hah! fooled you didn't we. Maybe I ought to just toss this pair in the drawer and forget it. I can give all my French cuff shirts to Goodwill. Hmmmmm? This takes some thought.


At 9:46 PM, Blogger Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

A much nicer post than the stinking intestines one.

I solved the sock and cufflink problems. For the past ten years I've bought only the exact same socks - charcoal gray knitted cotton - and toss them in a drawer. I don't even know when one is missing.

As for cufflinks: what's your excuse? I always lost mine when I was drunk. Solution: (which you have also discovered) no more French cuffs and pawn shops will give you something for the gold singletons.

At 12:40 PM, Blogger Gayle said...

LOL! I don't wear cufflinks, but suffer from the single sock syndrome. I heard a theory once that the socks are stolen by one legged aliens! Perhaps it's true, and having only one leg they would naturally have only one arm. Maybe I'm onto something! :)

At 7:55 PM, Blogger Three Score and Ten or more said...

Patrick, you ilustrated one of my pet peeves about marketing and individual stores. For ten or twelve years, I tried the single type of sox thing. (Actually I wasn't that precise, but JC Penny's sold socks that I loved. They were cotton with sort of a
Turkish towel or terrycloth sole. They sold in packages of three for a relatatively nominal sum, and I bought a package in black, and a package in brown eveytime I needed socks. At the end of that period, I found betrayal, I began to find single sox in the drawer again. I discovered that Pennys shopped their sox manufacture around and the different manufactures used better or worse dies. The blacks gradually became blues or greys, the browns changed in all kinds of ways. I even found some that seemed purplish. Fie on them all, the bastard sock demon strikes again.

At 4:18 PM, Blogger Norma said...

Here's some old coot advice (your word, not mine); I've noticed at our church only the guys over 70 are wearing suits; the 55-69 are in slacks and sport coat; the 40-54 slacks and sweaters; below that blue jeans. The wives of the old coots seem to be in slacks and jackets. I wore a suit for Palm Sunday and looked like I'd stepped out of a 1930s movie. So, give up the French cuffs and links and dress like the handsome kid you are on the inside.

At 12:57 AM, Blogger Rajesh Attri said...

We're waiting for the next installment, Neat Feet

french cuffs


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