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Three score and ten or more

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Im in a weird mood and can't say anything intelligent

I’m in a weird mood, and can’t stand to say anything intelligent.

There was a young lady who was invited to a banquet honoring her boss, a titan of industry. She purchased a beautiful black gown with long sleeves and a rather low neckline which emphasized her beautiful figure. Two days before the banquet, she came down with a terrible head cold. Her nose was running, her eyes were running, she was having trouble breathing, and, for a moment she considered staying home from the banquet.

She quickly decided that to do so was politically unwise. She was moving up in the company quickly, and she feared that if she were missing, her absence would be noticed, and someone else would take her place on the upward march. In order to make her stay at the banquet tolerable, she placed a large handkerchief in her left sleeve, and placed another down her neckline, between the breasts. The banquet went much as she feared. Her nose continued to run, as did her eyes, and as the guest of honor, who was seated by her side made his speech she surreptitiously dabbed her nose and eyes until her sleeve handkerchief was soaking wet. She subtly tossed the offending hanky under the table, and with two fingers of her right hand, covering the movement with her left hand stroking her chin, she carefully reached for the second hanky. It seemed not to be there. As her nose began to run afresh she felt first to one side, and then the other, finally, in desperation, holding the neckline of the dress in place with one hand she felt desperately from side to side, finding no hanky at all. Suddenly she was aware that the speaker had ceased to speak, and was staring down at her. Her eyes raised and she saw that almost everyone in the hall was staring at her as she felt from side to side for her lost handkerchief.

Nonplussed, she coughed, and then, blushing she stammered her apology. “ I don’t understand it,” said she, “I know I had two when I came in.”

I am so glad that I am old and can be forgiven things like this.!!!!


At 9:40 PM, Blogger Dan said...

no matter, you provided me with at least a little bit of entertainment on an otherwise stultifying night.

At 9:48 PM, Blogger Patty said...

Thats too cute. Thanks

At 5:59 AM, Anonymous Kathleen said...

Surreptitiously. I have not seen or heard this word for a long time. A perfect choice for your post!

At 8:20 AM, Blogger Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

I won't forgive you just because you say you're old. It was an awful joke but you did tell it well.

At 6:21 PM, Blogger Rabbitvoz said...

This was the case perhaps when you made the midget mind comment about Cheney on Blue Girl's Blog? You may when you have a few more brain cells in action, wish to look by it again and review the information you obviously missed in your hasty attempt to bury the bone.

By the way, I agree the story about the delay is no big deal, but the non-story about the discrepancies was what you failed to address.

At 8:59 AM, Blogger Curious Dave said...

Hi Three Score and Ten or More

I enjoyed the little story.

Saw your posts on Blue Girl's blog and at CyberOz (Rabbit's) and followed the trail of bread crumbs by way of your profile to here.

Mostly just wanted to say hello from a fellow fan of Orson Scott Card. I see from your profile that you liked Ender's Game and Folk of the Fringe. The quartet of Ender's Game, Speaker for the Dead, Xenocide and Children of the Mind are definitely my favorites. I also very much liked The Worthing Saga/Chronicles. I have read almost all of his works and enjoyed it all.

So now I will be reading your Cajun Gunpowder recipe and seeing what else is interesting here at your blog and at your webpage too.

At 9:42 AM, Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...


At 7:57 AM, Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

P.S. please go to my blog today and get the addys for the different gov't. officials listed there. Then write to beg them to do something concerning the sale to Dubai Ports World of the security contract for 7 of the ports in the United States. This is a very serious issue which directly affects those of us that live in the Bay Area here.

At 7:41 PM, Blogger Gayle said...

Lol, I really enjoyed it. Sorry Patrick, but I liked the joke! I've had a very weird day though, maybe that has something to do with it. Also, it was written so well, like Patric said.

So even when you are feeling unintelligent, you sound intelligent! Can't help yourself, can you? :)

At 7:44 PM, Blogger Rebekah said...

This was supposedly a true story I saw in Readers Digest, but I don't know. Anyway, that's too cute! :)

At 10:48 PM, Blogger Three Score and Ten or more said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 11:03 PM, Blogger Three Score and Ten or more said...

Actually that joke has been in my "repertoire" for about sixty years. I first read it in a joke book by Milton Berle (who later became known as a TV comic). If I remember right, the book was called something like I GOT A MILLION OF EM (IF I COULD JUST REMEMBER WHO I STOLE EM FROM)


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